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Dreams and Future, as well as Present

As I wrote, I will write about what YUI and KEN-Chan told us yesterday.

Basically, they gave us some good advice about the second-year programme, and we asked Q and they game us A back. After Mr.Murayama joined and talked something about the systematical stuff about the second year programme, he asked YUI and KEN-Chan about few personal things.

What I really remember were somethings that overlapped with mine, and I thought about dream, future, and the present.

MY DREAM and the FUTURE:
I used to have a lot which I would like to do in the future. When I was a junior high school student, I wanted to be a English teacher like my English teacher. That was my first time to be interested in English. He motivated me to study about English. He told me the interestingness of English. He was such good teacher not as a English teacher but also as a teacher who help students in many ways.
Then, at the same time, I wanted to be a professional Vball player. It was just dreaming, maybe, but it could be really serious for me at that time, and, even now. Since I was in Vball team in junior high and my team was strong enough to be a champion of that whole area. I love playing Vball, and I wanted to go to high school from which I got recommendation to enter that high school. You know, but the real life was not that simple. At that time, I was kinda ... person who cared about things around me. I cared what ppl saying about that high school and I cared a lot about my future. Since my sister and brother told me that high shcool was really important for ur future, I took great consideration to decide which to go. But, the reality is not that. I dont think high school yield much difference...
I went to a high school which is famous for its English education. I was in the international course, went to Australia for two months, made a presentaion, had a debate, wrote about 3,000-words thesis paper. The enitre life was so busy, and three years passed so quickly.
My choice of university was easy. I didnt take much time to think about my future, but I strongly belived to study more about the world and English, so I decided to go to Asia Pacific University, where half of students are from overseas. In APU, I faced so many difficulties and managed to live up to now.

So, it seems that I kinda made one of my dream come true. Yes, its true. Going abroad and study abroad was one of my dreams. I did it. I am doing it now. But, isnt it really dream??? no, this is juts the pass-point. So, what do I want to do from now? Do I want to be a English teacher??? Do I want to study more about English, in turn I can use it when I work??? Do I???

There is no clear answer. There is no "I" who can answer for these questions.

CURRENT:
What I am doing now is ... study economics 102 and anthropology100, astu 201 and 202. and... possibly try to stay another year in Canada. However, it seems very difficult to make decision. I am really indecisive, and think about many things that will be affected since I make decision. I have so many things that I want to do, but I dont think they are related to my future career, so maybe priority will not that high... in turn, I dont think I can make them happen... actually I dont know how much I want to do these... but... sometimes small tip of motivation will be a big fream...

ANYWAY, I have so many things to do now, this is just aweful!!! not awesome!!! terrible, horrible, sucks. Haaaaaaaa, anyway anyway, what I can do now is just do what I am supposed to do. I should not think anymore, that only make me mad and mad and crazy and mad.

Hope I can change my mind clealy and concentrate on my study.

2005.1.18
Masaharu Shigematsu@Canada
[PR]
by canadian_dreaming | 2005-01-18 10:11 | kokoro no tizu
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